Friday, August 28, 2009


Shouting to drum and bass= genius!>

Random Shit

TMZ is always so tacky when celebrities die yet I still continue to read that shit I guess that makes me tacky too?

The more education I have the more resentful I become of men.

I didn't raise alot of money for my friend but its the thought that counts right? She has $275 she didn't have.

I think I piss my husband off with my lack of affection and romantic overtures.

Watching Tropic Thunder for the umptenth time..I am no longer laughing.

I miss Michael Jackson.

I miss nasty Prince.

Inglorious Basterds was alright I couldn't get past the plot being totally full of shit though.

I never feel content.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Just a quick note

Am I even capable of that. I am very nervous about this semester. I have NUMEROUS papers I have to write. And I am scared shitless. I am ok with 1 paper a class spaced out but with my schedule this semester I will have to do serious research and book reviews. I am sort of excited for the challenge and it is an opportunity to improve my writing but damn I don't want to do poorly.

I am intrigued by my philosophy of race class it looks like it will be very enlightening. It is funny in my military history class I am the ONLY black female. In my African American history class there are NO white people just 1 latina that class is heavy with the negroes. The class is also taught by a latino. As black people we really aren't taught our history but I can recite white folks history all up and down.. Don't even get me started how women are virtually ignored in history everything is about THE MAN. No wonder no one likes your funky ass.

(I did not proofread I am about to eat)


Saturday, August 22, 2009

I Kinda Miss This In Music

Even though I think baby girl goes on a bit too long, I do miss how singers would talk over a groove before breaking it down. Songs were allowed to build a little bit. Now its straight fucking no time for four play. lol Women were chopping men up long before "can you pay my bills".

So I introduce to you Miss Marlena Shaw

Friday, August 21, 2009


So much has been going on! I think I twitter to much because now I don't bother to blog anymore! Well one of the things I am working on is helping out my friend. She is in DIRE FINANCIAL straits at this moment. I didn't realize how bad it was. I normally don't read too much into when someone says that money is tight. Because shit that is how most my life has been- alright, tight, no extra money, broke, and why am I not homeless? I am part of the working poor it is what it is. But earlier this week she confessed that her husband has not worked since February he has been able to find a job that pays him anything. She doesn't make much. They live in the country so job opportunities are not plentiful and everything has just basically spiraled out of control in the last 2 months. To hear my friend cry and confess she may lose her home just made me sick to my stomach.

To a cancer our home is our castle, it is our sanctuary of peace. To lose our piece of peace is just devastating. I am a full time student I don't have much money. What makes us make it is my husband working if he got sick or lost his job we would be in her position. I can't give her a large amount of money to help her out but what I can do is fund raise for her and that is what I am doing. She doesn't know by the way I am doing this for her. If she knew it she would stop me. I am sorry a closed mouth don't get fed. Your sorry ass husband can't get it together I will help you. Some people fall apart when adversity comes their way, I like to think that is when I am at my toughest. I think what really got me was her feeling of hopelessness and feeling alone that no one can help her. That breaks my heart, that is what slips you into a darkness you can't get out of. My idea to raise money has been baking cakes and charging $25 a cake and I am also taking donations of any amount. I will take a dime its a dime she doesn't have. Since Tuesday I have received $65 so far. I am expecting more donations next week. Pay day is coming!! I make a delicious chocolate cake and I am working on perfecting this honey bun cake..I have some ideas. I would almost make any kind of cake if it is within my skill set.

Besides who doesn't like cake?? If you don't you dark sided. I loved to baked but didn't for a while because I was single and a single woman don't need a whole cake in their house. I like to bake for people and give it away. I hope the money I raise will at least help a little bit. My husband and I gave her $125 which isn't much but shit its something. I have never fund raised before so I am doing this all off cuff. It does touch me though that people are helping me with this project. I know good and well that no one has to do shit for you in this life. We can be coldblooded beings consumed with our own personal dramas and we don't notice that the person next to us is drowning. Then once you gone its all these revelations. Fuck that help people when they are around and can appreciate your helping hand.

Friday, August 14, 2009

This right here is my kiki

When folks work my nerves, this is my go to song. And if you follow me on Twitter I have posted it a few times when I need a "praise break"
I immediately giggle. It is so over the top. You can't help but want to get a church fan and step it out IN THE NAME OF JESUS! IT'S OVAAAAAAAAAAAA. Is so very blackbaptistchurch-ish. So when folks are giving you fever, sweating you, or when a bill collector calls your house just start blasting this and all will be forgiving for about 5 minutes at least.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

When I Watch Coverage on Health Care Reform

And they show footage of angry mobs of WHITE MEN and WOMEN screaming at the top of their lungs that Obama is trying to kill their grandmother. I can't help but see white people who DO NOT want this black man to succeed. Fuck what is best for our country this nigger has got to fail. To me when they say, "Obama is a socialist" what they are really saying is "Obama is a NIGGER". Its a code phrase and it aggravates me to no end. These people are the same crack pots that were following McCain screaming socialism but #1 they couldn't spell it nor explain it. I really hope these crazy people don't win. When Hillary tried to push through reform it was white business men and powerful lobbyist that put a stop to that. They never accused her of trying to kill white down syndrome babies. She was just a woman that didn't know her place, same thing but the overtone about Obama much scarier. You never felt that hateful rhetoric was going to rile someone up so that a crazy would try and assassinate her. They just put her in her place and she went to baking cookies and visiting countries.

Most of their complaints are dense. "We don't want the government deciding what kind of health care we need!!!" You dumb ignorant bitch. Private insurance companies already do that. Where the fuck have you been? Have you ever been sick? They decide what they want to pay for. They decide who gets coverage.They have caps. When I left my job I was given a letter that I was told I must keep that says I had no pre-exisiting conditions, so that when I go to a new job I will be able to give covered. If I lose that shit, I am going to be in trouble. Obama's administration is not trying to socialize medicine what they are trying to do is make it better but the crazy ass, no reading, militant ass, crazy white boys and their breeders are trying to sabotage it by spreading lies. They are just coming off as rabid dogs. A true definition of a 'hater'.

Regulation is the only way to get these changes like it or not. Free market principles can not work for everything. It is not a fix it all. Capitalism is not a catch all. I would like to see regulation that prevents private insurance from dropping coverage for sick people or people with pre-existing health issues. I would like to see affordable insurance offered to people who work part-time and their job does not offer, insurance for those who lose or quit their job. When you lose your job and all you have is 2 weeks pay coming at you. COBRA is too damn high! IF we could get 2 of those things it would be a vast improvement. Also, the Obama plan wants to give insurance companies 5 years to comply. That shit need to be cut down to 3.

Anyway, I just felt I had to speak on that. I am always willing to listen to rational people discuss issues but once you get emotional about it and don't stick to the facts or offer a solution to fix it. I can't give you any ear time. Sorry.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Today I feel

Unsettled. I just want to lay in bed watch tv and not speak to anyone. All summer I have not done a damn thing but waste time on frivolous things. I have ideas but I never follow through a dreamer with no fire underneath them.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Wide Awake

And watching pirated episodes of Mad Men on the playstation. This shit is raggedy. I wish I was horny all the time then I could be busy jumping on my husband's magic stick rather than fucking around online. My cypher is broken. I don't feel right. And I have no idea about how to make it better. Me and my husband well mainly me and my friend have been discussing owning our own lounge. I really think we could do it. My husband is not a take charge type of man so I know that I will be have to do the delegating of tasks for shit to get done. We have a lot of ideas but ideas don't get shit done, action does.

The SBA website has a lot of good information to shift through. The shit is so dry though. I want to try and get a part time gig at a lounge so I can know the business better. I believe the 28-40 yo old night life market is virtually ignored for adults. Grown people like to go out too we just don't because we don't want to kick it with a bunch of 18 year olds listening to shitty music. Alot of spots here are all over the place with night, latin night, gay night etc etc to me its all exclusive like if you are not black but like hip/hip urban music its not the place for you. It isn't nothing but passive aggressive segregation. But we will see how it works out. I do tend to bounce from one career idea to another. Maybe this would stick if the people around me keep encouraging me and supporting me.