Self portraits

It Just Hit Me

I am not happy about my birthday because my ass is OLD. Well you know the old where you realize you don't identify with 20 somethings at all anymore and they in turn think you are ancient and behind the times. Buttttt if you die then you suddenly become young again. Yeah.. confusing and full of shit I know, before I fucking know it 40 will be here. :le sigh:

Father's Day

More and more I realize how much shit men get on this day. There is nothing but shade being thrown left and right. The men who have failed at being a father seems to have overshadowed the men who are good fathers. It’s a shame really. If your father is non existent in your life keep if freaking moving! I come from a family of women. My aunts who did marry are divorced the only constant men in my life was my grandfather and my aunt’s husband Eugene. So I have reasons to be bitter if I wanted to, all I know are sorry ass men. I don’t speak to my father, I haven’t in many years. I don’t even know where he is. Am I angry towards him? No, what is the point. Whatever choices we both have made in regards to our relationship we need to be at peace with it. The phone works both ways, no need to be pissy because we both are stubborn and we both won’t budge. I can’t be angry with him without being angry at myself. Wasted energy honey.

I also don’t ascribe to the notion that my mother was also father. My mother is my MOTHER, women can’t be fathers. Sorry,if you are really honest about it, you know its true. Since so many men have not been the fathers they should be to their children, society has subscribed to the the idea, well my single parent is both then, which makes no sense to me. These men don’t want to do right so lets replace them. It isn’t working… I was raised by a WOMAN in every sense of the word. The strength she instilled in me is that from a woman who had to go at it alone, not a woman replacing or standing in for a man! Why put all that on her?? I know people say it out of respect for what their mother has done for them, I get that, but it just doesn’t compute for me. I am the product and reflection of both my parents even if one wasn’t as involved as the other. She did not replace or stand in for him, and he could never replace and stand in for her. So to all the people with good parents SPEAK UP don’t let the sorry ass parental units of others overshadow the love you have experienced in your life. Sharing your experiences might quell some of the bitterness that is going around and heal some hurt souls out there.

Get that big piece of chicken fathers, its your day!

I love these two pieces by Kara Walker

So I Got A Tumblr

And I am not sure what the hell to do with it. What I do know is it won't contain anything personal emotional wise as the address is published on my Twitter account. I will keep the more personal things here as I don't promote this blog site at all. Besides I don't want all that Twitter rift raft over here. I am beginning to kind of hate most of the people I follow on Twitter now lol. Or maybe its my PMDD talking right.

Well anyway this is my tumblr: http://ladysugatitshoecakes.tumblr.com/

Follow me on there and I will follow back I ain't siddity like some of these social networking whores who dreams of social networking grandeur and fame, which means they want lots of followers but don't want to hear what anyone else has to say.

PMDD

PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder which is a disorder where you have wild mood swings prior to the start of your period. I am not talking about extra bitchiness, I mean depression, binge eating, disinterest in relationships or life, crying, and basic all out crazy woman shit. I have never been diagnosed by a professional but I think I have this shit! I have been journaling and I notice I get very depressed, disinterested and crazy around the time of the month. I want to lock myself up in a room and cry, not talk to anyone and binge on sweets. Usually on day 2 of my period those extreme feelings go away but sometimes its the whole damn duration.

Like right now I recognize that I am feeling off, I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't feel like pretending to be happy. Earlier I went to get some Shepherd's pie and I was like DAMN IT where is all of it? And I started to feel anger. I was like my husband probably took some extra to share with his co-workers and I got mad! LOL I don't know if that is the case or not but when I caught myself in the reflection of the microwave my ass looked ready to kill! LOL I can laugh at it now but at the time I was like this is some crazy shit! I can even tell on here when I was on my period by my damn posts. When I am extra critical on myself and sad its because my period is about to start or has just barely started!

Here is some information I found online..I have all of these symptons! Oh lord... wait, can I get Ambien for this?

https://health.google.com/health/ref/Premenstrual+dysphoric+disorder

Lesbian Drama

On the Twitter...I tell you what...

There is nothing secret on the internet...and you are not slick referring to someone by their government name ESPECIALLY if you are following a person that knows who in the hell you are talking about!