Sunday, November 8, 2009

I am going to tell the story

Of the last time I socked the shit out of a person. I am not a violent person although by the way I talk at times you would think that I have to just stomp ass all day every day. I will defend myself but I am never physically aggressive first. Well I take that back. One time I was and that ghetto girl beat my ass but hey you can't fuck with a girl with a jheri curl.

So back to this story:

The scene..the Navy...

Every enlisted sailor has to do 90 days working in the kitchen. We called it cranking and yes it sucks. You smell like wet potatoes everyday. I don't know why they make everyone crank. Maybe they do it to remind you that you have no control over your life. Anyways, I worked in the deep sink which is where you wash the big ass pots the cooks use. I didn't mind being back there because I didn't want anyone to see me walking around in that funk ass mustard yellow shirt. Or funking up the atmosphere smelling like spoiled vegetables. So I chose to be in the back and besides people don't tend to bother the pot washers it was too hot back and unpleasant and I just wanted to do my time in piece.

So there was this white girl that was back there with me. She worked in Port Services and I thought the bitch was weird. She never talked and she just seemed off to me. But I just ignored her and washed the pots. So one day we were in the deep sink alone, the other folks were probably skating off something and that day we were busy. Now anyone that has every washed pots or dishes know that you sometimes get little pieces of food stuck to the pot or plate while washing and water splashes around. We were washing pots that was damn near as long as my torso so its expected they did not fit perfectly into the deep sink. So this one day crazy bitch decided to speak she was like, "Don't splash me with water".

At first I was like, "what the hell bitch". I was not deliberately splashing water on this bitch so I was was like this bitch is tripping. I told her, "I am not intentionally spraying you with water". As far as I was concern the matter was closed. So anyway I got this big pot and their was a cucumber stuck to it and I picked it off the pot and threw it on the back splash. Crazy bitch lost her mind at that point and reached into the hot, dirty dishwater and splashed that shit in my face it was on some Dynasty level. I mean who in the hell splashes water in someone's face! I SNAPPED. I couldn't believe this bitch had the audacity to throw water in my face. Why I went IKE TURNER on that ass and socked the shit out of her. Her hat flew off her head. And then I yelled at her to pick it up and then continued to cuss her out. I was yelling so loud at this bitch the whole kitchen got quiet. I cursed her out like a pimp looking for his money!

I was about to sock that bitch again and you know what stopped me. The fear in her eyes. Other than that I would have continued to wipe the floor with her ass. All the men in the kitchen had a look on their faces that in hindsight now is comical but at the time I was like mind ya business! They looked like the South Park cartoons just big blinking eyes. She had blood coming out of her ear. I just knew then that bitch was gonna tell on me! I could have gotten in SERIOUS trouble had she told on me but she never did. The ho never came back into that deep sink again. I remember the other guy that worked back there with me was like "what did you do to that girl?" I was like nothing. I learned then that if you gonna attack someone, you have to be fully prepared to back it up. You end up looking like a fool! Like my friend Mike said, "
the person who initiates the slap usually gags last" Amen brother Mike Amen.

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