Feel Like Shit

I have a headache and terrible indigestion! Maybe I had too many cookies today. Who knows. So the first week of class is over and I am telling you this semester is going to be a bitch. I have soooooooooo much to read and most of it is fucking boring. Reading isn't the hard part, being able analyze and intellectualize what I am reading is the hard part. As I have said before I am not an intellectual but history is an intellectual discipline. People think it is just telling stories about the past, if only it was that easy!

People simple answers to things and if we are honest we know that nothing is that simple..ever..I feel like I have been neglecting this place. It is quieter here. Tumblr is a bunch of noise. I was thinking about my old myspace blog..maybe I will go through there one day and post some old blogs. I am one of those people where I write but I don't tend to read it again because most of the time I find it too painful. Either I am disgusted by my silliness or I am overwhelmed by my sadness. I tend to blog, journal when I am sad about something. I should stop that because when you are gone and people read your shit they think that is all that you were.

I GOT ALL A's!!

For the spring semester. I am happy! Can't believe this fall I will be graduating...lord I will have so much money to pay back.... I just caught a lil stroke.

School Has Me Stressed!

I am not retaining and comprehending which is crucial to my field of study.

Sad. I want to eat fat shit.

GOT DAMN IT.

I got a fucking 74 on a test! The class average for this exam was 72! Why did I take this fucking man again??? I know why! Because I am fucking retarded and should have learned my lesson!

Also..my ass can't sleep

It is damn near 5 in the morning and I am wide awake. So yeah FML. Finals this week and next. Wish me luck because I am going to need it. Now sure if this semester will be a 4.0 one unless I can pull all A's on these exams.

Just a quick note

Am I even capable of that. I am very nervous about this semester. I have NUMEROUS papers I have to write. And I am scared shitless. I am ok with 1 paper a class spaced out but with my schedule this semester I will have to do serious research and book reviews. I am sort of excited for the challenge and it is an opportunity to improve my writing but damn I don't want to do poorly.

I am intrigued by my philosophy of race class it looks like it will be very enlightening. It is funny in my military history class I am the ONLY black female. In my African American history class there are NO white people just 1 latina that class is heavy with the negroes. The class is also taught by a latino. As black people we really aren't taught our history but I can recite white folks history all up and down.. Don't even get me started how women are virtually ignored in history everything is about THE MAN. No wonder no one likes your funky ass.

(I did not proofread I am about to eat)

Cheers

Tomorrow I take my last final

Yes! I don't think that I will have all A's this semester. I know that I have not applied myself as much. Maybe with working and going to school I was on a tighter shift and had to hold it together. But we will see. I never thought I would have all A's on previous semesters. As I have said my father-in-law and new wife will be in Saturday. I think I have been too busy to be nervous. I have never met him before! I have felt like being alone lately. I need silent time, I don't think my husband gets that. I aggravate him and alienate him I believe. I don't mean to...

I just read Push by Sapphire. I loved it! Its like a ghetto Color Purple with a foul mouth 16 yo. Very good. I plan on blogging about it more. Well I think I better sign off. I am on the laptop in the bedroom and I know my husband will be wanting to come to bed. He does not know about this blog...shit alot of people don't.