Hectic Time for Me

Finals are coming up. I have my father-in-law and his new wife coming to visit shortly. We have not made any preparations! I know I am going to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. My husband is not worried about a thing.I know he is like umm they can sleep on the floor or something. But I just can't! I have a lot of ideas on subject matters I want to blog about. I just have no time at the moment. I want to recommend a couple of movies and short stories to read. Things are good. I am really trying to work on writing when things are good and not just overly depressing. I don't believe that I will have all A's this semester but hey who knows I might can pull it off.

Man Tylenol PM is kicking my ass right now!

Walking on Sunshine

LOL

Today is not a good day

I feel incredibly tender. I am raw and I feel at any moment that I could break into sobs. When people want to know why you hurt the only answer I can give is, its everything yet nothing at all. I can't bear to look at myself in the mirror lately. Everything looks ugly, everything smells of desperation. Disgusted. I hate feeling this way. I know it will pass but when you feel this way its almost unbearable. The isolation, there is nothing anyone else can do for you. Its up to you to get right. I not only feel my own pain but I also feel the pain of others. I can intellectualize everything that is wrong with me that I can improve upon and yet I do nothing significant about it. Its weakness and I can't stand it. I can't stand weak people, I have no patience. Yet every once in a while I become what I can't stand the most and its exhausting. Am I punishing myself?

I feel guilty for feeling this way.I wish I could just go somewhere for a while and lick my wounds and have the world pause for me while I get myself together but that's not how life works. You have to keep going. People don't stop for you. As painful as it is, I keep at at. I comb my hair, I put my make up on, I smile at the appropriate times. I make people laugh and I keep going even when everything in me screams just lay down it ain't working.

Difficult

Something in me won't submit. I fight it at every chance. My independence is a wall that even I can't climb over. So I just do the easiest...resist. I'm such a bitch.

OK this cracked me the hell up!!

This literally had me in tears. I needed this lady when I was looking for someone to prank my ex-boss (The Devil That Wear Baby Phat).

P.S.

I am like real gasey right now. lol Just thought I let you know. lol Enjoy the video.

I don't know how I feel about this

I'm conflicted. Help!

Its sad but true

She forgot be light-skin folks, check for you when they don't know your race.
Fucking for tracks, its much easier than writing your own tracks.
Jack your swagger from gay men and euro pop artists. Fat straights won't notice.
Autotune is a must!

Boyfriend Of Youth

I find myself looking at men in a different light. I study them now. I look for the characteristics that would have enthralled me in my youth. The things that attracted me back then, doesn't do it for me now but, I am still intrigued by them. I was very stuck on looks but I like to pretend I never was. As I have gotten older, how I am treated is way more important to me than how a man looks. I ran into a guy I considered my first adult relationship. He looks the same so much so, that I see now the traits in him that now I would think of as corny, yet I am curious about him.What was it about him that had me so open? I still can't put my finger on it yet I still recognize that I indeed did feel that way about him. My heart was completely open back then, nothing to darken it. It was one of those relationships that to me is special because, we never had sex yet what happened in that relationship changed me profoundly. My rose colored glasses were smashed. I changed. My ego was checked. Before him I never really cared about other guys in the same way I did about him, and before that I had never been rejected. His rejection hurt and mattered. I had that "what is wrong with me" moment. I think every woman has this at some point; the why can't I keep a man bag. Its when you think you are the perfect girlfriend and then someone lets you know umm no ma'am you not. I was delivered from my girlish ideals to womanhood. I wanted to know why. He had no answers. Now I realize, why really isn't that important. An affair of youth. So to run into him again has me curious not in a I am interested in him way but in an observant way. We were so young back then. I wonder...

My ghetto quilty pleasure

And the hot remix



I actually put this on my ipod

Geez Louise

I am glad I didn't get ghetto and blow up the spot. Age teaches you to slow your roll. Things may not be be as they seem. We love each other.