Diary of A Moonchild

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T16:35:00.004-06:00

Well, let me bulletpoint this shit because I can't be bothered.

I still work at the University. I go back to work tomorrow. Ugh I don't want to, that place is so negative. As soon as I get an opportunity, I am transferring out that department. I love the school. I just don't like working in Admissions.
Trying to lose weight again! Fuck, I just keep getting bigger and bigger. I feel if Janet can lose weight 10 times I should be able to do it once 1 good time.
Still married, still in love with husband. My sex drive is in the toilet tho. I think it is due to the weight gain. I don't feel sexy or attractive. I just want to hide in this house. NOT good.
For Christmas I got 6 pairs of pumps. I can't wait to wear them all to work!
Currently reading the Hunger Games, it's pretty good.
I am going to try and do the Insanity workout. That shit is brutal. Especially for my out of shape ass.
What are you guys up too?

I forget to post over here

2011-07-04T00:17:00.002-05:00

I swear y'all just need to get on tumblr but I just wanted to say the good news. I finally got a job!!!! After 6 damn months of looking and filling out application. I am back in higher education which is what I wanted. I start work Tuesday! I decided to get right into it. I have had 6 months of keeping vampire hours. Play time is over! I am so happy because I really wanted that job. They offered my job on my birthday! I was so depressed. The call was right on time!! That bitch Sallie Mae was breathing down my throat. What a relief I tell you. There are so many things we have been putting off due to me not having any funds!

How have you guys been?

Master Cleanse

2011-05-10T03:52:00.003-05:00

I did that shit for 10 days. I have never fantasized about food like I did those 10 days. I don't know how in the hell people could it for 20 or 40 days. I lost ten pounds that I probably will gain back. I am trying to cut my calories I just need to do the working out part. I can not believe how chunky my black ass got. I suppose I have eating sadness. I feel like such a loser. I made a pact with my friend for us to lose 10 lbs by our bday June 28. I would feel so much better about myself. Shit maybe I should just go sit down somewhere and have some babies.

I'm so stressed

2011-05-10T03:44:00.002-05:00

I have been looking for work since January. This year has just sucked but I hate to say that out loud as something worst might happen. I am starting to get student loan payment requests and it makes me break out in a sweat. I owe so much money! Between the loans I had left over from my associates and completing my bachelors. I need 2 damn jobs! I have only had about 4 sit down interviews and all were disappointing. I am trying not to get so sad about it.

I want to flee the country and never come back...

Fooling around with make up

2011-04-23T03:30:00.006-05:00

Today I decided to do my video for my contest on youtube. I am giving away an apron I made. I requested a vintage look because the apron is kind of vintage in style. I need something to do with my time. Sunday I am shooting a girl in her prom dress. I charged her next to nothing. I really don't have confidence in my photography. I am not really a portrait or fashion photographer. So we will see.

Here is my beat face! The earrings I am wearing are made my Selima, check out her website
http://www.beautyonblast101.com/

I'm sewing now

2011-04-18T19:00:00.005-05:00

Still no job...how long have I been looking now since I graduated in December? Yes, honey no one wants to hire my black ass. So I have been keeping myself busy. I started sewing again. I haven't sewn since high school. I don't even want to tell you how long ago that was. I am starting out slow. Sometimes the instructions on the patters are so confusing. I have been having to negro rig the waistbands on my aprons. Here is my first sewing project.

It's a vintage styled apron. I think it is cute. I am in the process of sewing another one for a give away on my youtube channel. I am still very much a beginner at this but it is fun and I like to create.

Super Moon

2011-03-21T04:43:00.001-05:00

A kicked dog will hollar

2011-03-19T02:41:00.003-05:00

I offended a girl today. See I have noticed that there are a lot of internet activists on Tumblr. What they do is find blogs posted by people on Tumblr who may say insensitive or ignorant shit and they reblog it and call them out on it. Then there other activist friends chime in with the intellectual shade and next thing you know your feed is clogged over appropriate terms and non bias language. That is all they do on Tumblr. They are mad about everything. I believe in calling people out on their shit but I won't make that the center of my fucking internet life. Not to generalize, but maybe I am. Most of the people up in arms are people who are young, queer, gay, trans( although that isn't even an acceptable term), fat, disabled, non-white, and female. Basically anybody that isn't white, male and heterosexual.

This one particular girl all she does was social justice troll. And sometimes she reblogs very smart pieces. However, she never posts anything that is pleasant. She does not joke. If she wasn't getting in someone's ass because of the words they chose to use, or their particularly ignorant statements about previously mentioned people, she was posting porn. Yes, porn, she gets all riled up about marry, fuck, or kill but, she has no problem with posting pictures of some woman's vagina all up in folks feed. So after her snarky comment that reproductive rights shouldn't be limited to women because people who don't considered themselves to be female have children. I had enough. You can call yourself what you want but only biological females can give birth to children. That female can consider herself male all she wants, but the uterus and ovaries tell otherwise. It is what it is. A woman who lives her life as woman has a much different life than a man that lives his life as a woman with surgery or not.

Anyway after having enough I posted this:

Sometimes I feel like some of you need a hug, cuddle and a good laugh

Some of you seem so so incredible sad and angry over everything. It’s mentally exhausting reading your stuff. I wouldn’t want to be the person trying to make y’all asses happy. I couldn’t measure up to the scrutiny.

That girl immediately unfollowed me. This is not the first time I have made a post like that because she is not the only one who does this. But today I suppose she was feeling a particular sort of way. Folks had begin to get in her ass about her nasty ass posts to people and they were unnecessarily cruel to her, telling her to kill her self and shit like that. It is obvious the girl has mental issues no need to add fuel to the fire. I guess my point of all this is, you can be an activist you can check people but you also need to LIVE. Be got damn happy. People are not all set out to hurt you. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you need to learn to respectfully disagree with one another. Choose your fucking battles. Back away from the damn computer and go pet some kittens are something.

I neglect this poor blogspot

2011-03-13T04:45:00.004-05:00

Lets see I don't even remember the last time I blogged here. I spend most of my blogging time on Tumblr which is just over run with spoiled bratty children and pretentious atheist hipsters. I graduated in December and have yet to find a job. It is sort of unbelievable I have never been unemployed for more than 2 weeks. I feel like I am more picky than I normally would be. I feel lost.

This little girl in this picture is my mother's kitten. Her name is Zoe and she is a four legged walking plague. She got Simba sick his mouth was filled with ulcers I thought he was going to die. I was SO upset. Then I found out her ass had ringworms so I had to take her to the vet. It all has been a nightmare. Friday I noticed Simba's eye was weepy I think his eye is scratch probably from fucking around with Zoe. How this little cat whipped his ass I don't know. I have been putting drops in his eyes. I guess I will have to take him to the vet this week if he doesn't improve. I feel like all I have to talk about these days are cats, Lock Up and Fatal Attraction episodes. I stay up at all hours and sleep all day. It's a trifling life.

I kind of miss this place, its more peaceful. Tumblr is full of noise.

Since I am on Tumblr

2011-02-13T04:56:00.003-06:00

I forget about this blog spot. I feel bad like I am neglecting it. So I might as well do a little update for those who strictly read this which is probably no one. lol

I graduated from college in December.
I still don't have a job. Looking for work has been more depressing. I am more particular about the the type of work I do now. I have been looking and thus far only had 2 interviews.
I am babysitting my mama's new kitten. I am ready for her to come get miss thang.
I need money.
I love my hubby.

People Are Pissed

2010-11-02T23:17:00.003-05:00

That the Democrats lost control of the House. Well, when they had the majority they didn't do much with it. They punked out A LOT. We could have a public option with our healthcare. If he Dems would have had some BALLS. You can't just vote and that is that. You have to hold your government representatives accountable. That means writing letters calling their office. NOT getting on facebook and twitter and bitching. Believe it or not they respond to letters. Too often if you are lets say a Democrat and your representative is a Republican you never write them. Write them! Make them know that you exist. A lot of people in Congress are clowns who get away with MURDER. They don't have a platform they just spit out rhetoric promulgated by the party. Both sides are full of shit, they say what they have to, and they play on ignorance of the masses.

Anyway, I am tired Theraflu is kicking in righteously

I have this weird rash

2010-11-02T23:15:00.000-05:00

On my face around my eyes. Hmmm it is messing up my swag.

I love my husband

2010-10-28T21:14:00.002-05:00

I really really do. I am so lucky to have him. He is my best friend. I love everything about him. Even when he pisses me off I love him.

I am a lucky girl.

ooowee

2010-10-15T02:06:00.003-05:00

So I entered a contest and my entry was a mess but I didn't it anyway. It did not come out at all like I envisioned. Oh well two tears in a bucket.... but here are some pictures the hubby took of me. Boy I am tired!

Feel Like Shit

2010-08-28T02:15:00.003-05:00

I have a headache and terrible indigestion! Maybe I had too many cookies today. Who knows. So the first week of class is over and I am telling you this semester is going to be a bitch. I have soooooooooo much to read and most of it is fucking boring. Reading isn't the hard part, being able analyze and intellectualize what I am reading is the hard part. As I have said before I am not an intellectual but history is an intellectual discipline. People think it is just telling stories about the past, if only it was that easy!

People simple answers to things and if we are honest we know that nothing is that simple..ever..I feel like I have been neglecting this place. It is quieter here. Tumblr is a bunch of noise. I was thinking about my old myspace blog..maybe I will go through there one day and post some old blogs. I am one of those people where I write but I don't tend to read it again because most of the time I find it too painful. Either I am disgusted by my silliness or I am overwhelmed by my sadness. I tend to blog, journal when I am sad about something. I should stop that because when you are gone and people read your shit they think that is all that you were.

Since I can' t sleep I might as well bitch

2010-08-03T04:57:00.001-05:00

I follow certain people's blogs because I like what they write about or I like their style. I was following this person's blog who wrote a lot about fashion and natural hair but the shade she would throw at anyone who had 'unatural' hair was getting to be too much. Hair is hair to me. I don't care what you do with it as long as it is clean. I know some people are into hair in that way, I am not. When you die they are not going mention your fucking hair in your obituary or put it on your tombstone.

I said on Twitter that some natural hair people are the Jehovah Witnesses of hair. That is all they want to talk about. They want to take you to the big chop hall and have hair study on twists out and the evilness of shampoos with sulfur. One girl just wanted to go natural for a change, she decided to get a relaxer and baby they gave her FEVER. They literally wished for her hair to fall out! What kind of shit is that! It is not your fucking hair! If natural hair doesn't fit into her life style it has nothing to do with you!

I know that natural hair people get fever, they are probably a minority depending on where you may live but I am sorry some of you are too close to it.

I like to watch Intervention

2010-08-03T03:04:00.001-05:00

But I like to skip the intervention part.

Sigh

2010-08-03T02:48:00.002-05:00

I know I have been neglecting this place. I have been mostly blogging fluff on Tumblr. I do have good news! I am done with Spanish this semester. I kept an A average on my exams so I am exempt from finals. What a load off my mind! I did not have the energy to study for a whole semester worth of that shit!

Physically I have not been feeling good at all. I am not comfortable at all. I am still binging on food but not as bad. I don't know what is up with me.

Yes ma'am

2010-07-17T14:13:00.001-05:00

I am real fucking bothered over something right now. Folks are taking liberties that I can't down with.

Self portraits

2010-06-26T20:11:00.001-05:00

It Just Hit Me

2010-06-22T00:42:00.004-05:00

I am not happy about my birthday because my ass is OLD. Well you know the old where you realize you don't identify with 20 somethings at all anymore and they in turn think you are ancient and behind the times. Buttttt if you die then you suddenly become young again. Yeah.. confusing and full of shit I know, before I fucking know it 40 will be here. :le sigh:

Father's Day

2010-06-20T14:04:00.001-05:00

More and more I realize how much shit men get on this day. There is nothing but shade being thrown left and right. The men who have failed at being a father seems to have overshadowed the men who are good fathers. It’s a shame really. If your father is non existent in your life keep if freaking moving! I come from a family of women. My aunts who did marry are divorced the only constant men in my life was my grandfather and my aunt’s husband Eugene. So I have reasons to be bitter if I wanted to, all I know are sorry ass men. I don’t speak to my father, I haven’t in many years. I don’t even know where he is. Am I angry towards him? No, what is the point. Whatever choices we both have made in regards to our relationship we need to be at peace with it. The phone works both ways, no need to be pissy because we both are stubborn and we both won’t budge. I can’t be angry with him without being angry at myself. Wasted energy honey.

I also don’t ascribe to the notion that my mother was also father. My mother is my MOTHER, women can’t be fathers. Sorry,if you are really honest about it, you know its true. Since so many men have not been the fathers they should be to their children, society has subscribed to the the idea, well my single parent is both then, which makes no sense to me. These men don’t want to do right so lets replace them. It isn’t working… I was raised by a WOMAN in every sense of the word. The strength she instilled in me is that from a woman who had to go at it alone, not a woman replacing or standing in for a man! Why put all that on her?? I know people say it out of respect for what their mother has done for them, I get that, but it just doesn’t compute for me. I am the product and reflection of both my parents even if one wasn’t as involved as the other. She did not replace or stand in for him, and he could never replace and stand in for her. So to all the people with good parents SPEAK UP don’t let the sorry ass parental units of others overshadow the love you have experienced in your life. Sharing your experiences might quell some of the bitterness that is going around and heal some hurt souls out there.

Get that big piece of chicken fathers, its your day!

I love these two pieces by Kara Walker

2010-06-17T02:01:00.004-05:00

So I Got A Tumblr

2010-06-10T13:05:00.005-05:00

And I am not sure what the hell to do with it. What I do know is it won't contain anything personal emotional wise as the address is published on my Twitter account. I will keep the more personal things here as I don't promote this blog site at all. Besides I don't want all that Twitter rift raft over here. I am beginning to kind of hate most of the people I follow on Twitter now lol. Or maybe its my PMDD talking right.

Well anyway this is my tumblr: http://ladysugatitshoecakes.tumblr.com/

Follow me on there and I will follow back I ain't siddity like some of these social networking whores who dreams of social networking grandeur and fame, which means they want lots of followers but don't want to hear what anyone else has to say.

PMDD

2010-06-10T12:45:00.002-05:00

PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder which is a disorder where you have wild mood swings prior to the start of your period. I am not talking about extra bitchiness, I mean depression, binge eating, disinterest in relationships or life, crying, and basic all out crazy woman shit. I have never been diagnosed by a professional but I think I have this shit! I have been journaling and I notice I get very depressed, disinterested and crazy around the time of the month. I want to lock myself up in a room and cry, not talk to anyone and binge on sweets. Usually on day 2 of my period those extreme feelings go away but sometimes its the whole damn duration.

Like right now I recognize that I am feeling off, I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't feel like pretending to be happy. Earlier I went to get some Shepherd's pie and I was like DAMN IT where is all of it? And I started to feel anger. I was like my husband probably took some extra to share with his co-workers and I got mad! LOL I don't know if that is the case or not but when I caught myself in the reflection of the microwave my ass looked ready to kill! LOL I can laugh at it now but at the time I was like this is some crazy shit! I can even tell on here when I was on my period by my damn posts. When I am extra critical on myself and sad its because my period is about to start or has just barely started!

Here is some information I found online..I have all of these symptons! Oh lord... wait, can I get Ambien for this?

https://health.google.com/health/ref/Premenstrual+dysphoric+disorder

Lesbian Drama

2010-06-08T23:58:00.003-05:00

On the Twitter...I tell you what...

There is nothing secret on the internet...and you are not slick referring to someone by their government name ESPECIALLY if you are following a person that knows who in the hell you are talking about!

Iluminati Make up Tutorial

2010-05-27T01:22:00.000-05:00

Actually I think this is more Illuminati...

2010-05-26T00:49:00.001-05:00

My Next Youtube Video

2010-05-25T23:07:00.005-05:00

Will be spoofying people who think the Illuminati is real and most importantly that Beyonce, JayZ, and Rihanna are a member of it. Also its funny how people think being naked with heavy makeup makes you edgy.. They give them wayyyyyyyyyyy too much credit...

Irritating News

2010-05-25T00:10:00.002-05:00

I got some news today when I checked the mail that has me gagging right now. I need to work something out QUICKLY.

This Tumblr is FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!

2010-05-24T00:07:00.002-05:00

Y'all know I like ignorant ass shit this site is giving me everything!

http://yourmomisclubbin.tumblr.com

I GOT ALL A's!!

2010-05-23T04:47:00.002-05:00

For the spring semester. I am happy! Can't believe this fall I will be graduating...lord I will have so much money to pay back.... I just caught a lil stroke.

So disgusted

2010-05-19T03:13:00.002-05:00

Someone I use to be in the Navy with (I barely remember him) posted an update today that had me livid! I promptly deleted his ass! For the past two weeks he had been posting these foreboding updates that would prompt people to say what is going on? For which he never answers so I was like fuck it drama queen. Today he decided to tell everyone on facebook that his ex girlfriend had an abortion in Knoxville TN. Yes, I should not know any of that. He first starts out with abortion is wrong no matter the circumstances and then spills all the tea!

What got me real bothered was everything was about him not the aborted fetus! It was a bunch of women have no right...He would have done whatever to ensure the baby was all right... He will never forgive her... I could not believe that he would put such an intimate experience as a facebook status. I don't care the hurt! Folks was just like I am sorry but fuck that I am not going to apologize for a woman's right to choose. Some men can't stand the fact that women now have that choice. They can no longer use pregnancy as a means to control women.

I just deleted his ass because I don't want to be associated with people who would post such things....

This About Sums it UP

2010-05-17T19:13:00.002-05:00

Silly Ho: I'm so lonely

2010-05-15T01:38:00.004-05:00

There is this person I use to be good friends with back in the day. I recently found her again on facebook and I am a bit amazed by her. First of all I didn't realize she was so damn ghetto! So very tacky. Her hair... I am just waiting for her to show up on hotghettomess.com but that isn't what has me gagging. Its her neediness. Although I share some personal things on this site and on other blog sites I have had. I have never ever ever whined in public about not having a man! That is just something you don't do. No one wears desperation well!

This particularly person is very depressed over being single..she can't be no more than 32 or 33. She meets men and quickly things seem to go sour. And why do I know this??? She puts this shit all on facebook. She is coming off mad desperate. This week really killed me because she wrote a note talking about she has spent alot of time wondering why she is single and why a man doesn't want to marry her. She then goes on to say that it is because God is getting her ready for the right man. Ok then girl. Now that had to be 2 days ago, today she posted a nasty note talking about fucking for 3 1/2 hours! At least that is what it sounded like. I asked her what was the post about and she said nothing. Again ok then girl.

She needs to write this shit down in a journal and keep her whining to herself..no wonder white folks are always on the news talking about single black women. Its because their asses is out in public whining! Even on twitter not a day goes by that someone isn't saying black men ain't shit, I wish I had a man..yadda yadda yadda. I never ever was like that, maybe it is because I am an only child so I had to learn to entertain myself. Or maybe it's because I am lazy. It takes a lot of work to be in a relationship..I rather be alone if I wasn't with my husband. I never wrapped my value up in what a man thought of me. Fuck men they are stupid for the most part. They are beholden to their dick and can't think straight. And they have to work super hard to get someone to fuck them, well a quality fuck. I can't. I am glad I am a woman vulnerabilities and all.

If this blog can be a PSA it would be just shut the fuck up about not having a man we don't care and we don't want to hear it. Also take that fucked up looking kool aid weave out your head!

Turned In Last Final Today

2010-05-14T00:58:00.002-05:00

I am done! Today I fell off my diet I wanted a DRINK! Me and the hubby went to our Mexican spot and I had 4 margaritas! Yessssssss and they were GOOD. I also had chicken and beef fajitas with charro beans. I also had some cake! I know my husband is going to say something to me about eating the cake but fuck it I deserved it. Now that I am off until June 1 I will be exercising more. After living in this house for 5 years I recently found out we have access to a tennis court so the hubby and I will be taking advantage of that.

Hair:

Lawd my hair is nappy right now! I have been lazy so I have kind of let my hair go. I have been wearing wigs but it is getting too hot for that so me and the legacy of Madame C.J. Walker are about to get reacquainted. The front of my hair is fairly straight but the back is nappy like Pam. I don't mind naps what I don't like is two hair textures.

Youtube:

My M.I.A video on Born Free has like 18K views..I don't like that... I keep making it private because I am tired of people leaving comments. I wish I could stop comments but let people see what people have already said. A lot of it is a bunch of fuckery but then that is youtube. I am not the best with grammar but damn some people had me scratching my head like WHAT??? Incomplete sentences, terrible spelling, irrational arguing. I haven't read half the comments. One douche said he was disappointed in my cursing, black women have lost their femininity that bitch can eat a hot bowl of dicks.. I could care less what a man thinks about femininity.

Today was a BITCH

2010-05-08T22:19:00.004-05:00

I was mad enough to kill. A boot was put on my car! A girl who was doing a good deed offered me her parking ticket at school, so I used it as I had on heels and the parking was closer. I was there to be be inducted into the honors society and I knew it would be a quick ceremony. I swear as soon as I walked away, MISTER FUCKING FREEMAN put a boot on my car. I had to pay $112. 25 to get that shit off my car. The bitch ass fucker couldn't even look me in the FACE while he fucking me over. I felt like I was raped, I had no recourse, me not seeing the ticket was non transferable when I used it was useless. He was like I need 112.25 to take it off! I just started crying because there was nothing I could do but pay it. As I write this my chest is hot with anger. There was a moment I wish I had a stun gun because after he took the boot off I would have loved to sting him within an inch of a fucking heart attack!

Finals Next Week and I am starving

2010-05-04T17:49:00.003-05:00

This is the time I usually get real ignorant with it. I feel I can't study without stuffing my face with something. I usually stay in one spot from hours on end, which means in front of the computer. So no kind of exercise. I am so hungry right now. I have been sticking to my diet for.... 3 weeks on Friday. I have had occasional pains for sweets and junk foods, but I just have to ignore it. As soon as my husband comes home I want to eat dinner but he doesn't he eats a late lunch so he wants to eat at 8 and 9 at night. By then I am dying. Like right now I want to sneak off and eat something just so I can be satisfied. When I got on the scale earlier it said I had lost about 10 or 9 give or take. I have to keep going. I want my damn cheek bones back!

I am kind of weirded out

2010-04-27T18:31:00.003-05:00

That my video commentating on M.I.A's new video Born Free has gotten a lot of views. Someone actually called me a racist arrogant American nigger...I think. I could barely understand what he was saying. lol. I guess I am official on the youtube now. lol

Born Free-M.I.A

2010-04-27T00:50:00.002-05:00

www.miauk.com

Bananas!! Brilliant!! Brutal!!

I Am Kind of Pissed Right Now

2010-04-25T12:44:00.003-05:00

Actually more like seething with anger and I can't say why I am pissed. I am having to pretend I am OK going along with something that I don't approve of. I am even typing hard. I tell you sometimes I wonder..I really do. I am funny about certain things and I don't think I am ever gonna change in that regard.

Soundtracks of the Day

2010-04-23T23:50:00.002-05:00

Lesbian Drama

2010-04-22T23:45:00.000-05:00

Call me Pookie from New Jack

2010-04-20T18:44:00.004-05:00

I haven't had any sweets or anything made from flour since Thursday. Oh! And let me not forget coffee! I have not tasted the Starbucks since Thursday too how many days has it been??? My last sweet beverage was a mocha frappacino. I am craving like a mug. This is hard but I need to do something. I was engaging in some very negative behavior regarding food and I need to stop. It is affecting everything. It is some very fat shit to be eating honey sandwiches at 2 in the morning! I was going through loafs of bread even my husband started giving me the side eye. Lord.

Actually I was binging. That is more accurate without the purging but who knows that shit might be next if I don't get it together. I was never a skinny girl always curvy but it was cute curvy this right here is something else. I would never publicly say how much I weigh because that varies based on body shape and bone structure. For instance my husband looks skinny but I have seen people that are his same height and weight and they look normal. He has a delicate bone structure. Me on the other hand I carry my weight better but it is getting out of hand. Next thing I know I will be having a booty do.

So anyway I pray I can stay away from the darksided food that is making my booty spread.

Soundtrack of the day

2010-04-20T18:41:00.002-05:00

I Had A Terrible Dream

2010-04-16T16:18:00.004-05:00

I am down today. The dream was Thursday but its impact is still reverberating through me. There was a message in it. I keep doing the same things over and over and expect a miraculous different out come. When you are drowning it is up to YOU to save yourself no one else has to lift a finger. Its stupid and I am way too intelligent for this kind of bullshit. Whatever I am feeling I need to shake it off when my husband gets home. I don't like to worry him.

Anyway music inspirations of the day:

Erykah Badu

Radiohead

Sad Face

2010-04-15T22:59:00.002-05:00

My husband sent me an email with pictures of me from about 4 years ago. They immediately depressed me. I am a fat cow now. I just can't believe I have blown up like this in the past 3 years its terrible. So damn depressing but I have done it to myself. No one to blame but me.

New Avatard

2010-04-12T22:13:00.001-05:00

I think it is kind of funky... The hubby took the picture.

Soundtrack of the Day

2010-04-12T22:09:00.002-05:00

Little Dragon-Little Dragon
Little Dragon-Machine Dreams
Gorillaz-Plastic Beach
Bjork-Unravel
Erykah Badu-Return of the Ankh

(heavily rotated)

Played around in make up.

2010-04-11T20:52:00.004-05:00

Was/Is feeling depressed today so I decided to play in make up. I tired to recreate a look from the We Need A Resolution video by Aaliyah. All I see is mistakes in what I did so I am whatever about it. I need to get serious about weight loss. I saw a picture my husband took of me and I looked OBESE. Its getting out of control, no actually it is out of control but that's a whole nother blog.

THIS SHIT IS HORRIBLE!!!

2010-04-08T02:02:00.003-05:00

LOOK AT THIS HOT MESS SHIT! YES I AM GOING KANYECAPS ON THIS BULLSHIT.

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE MAKE ME WANT TO GET HARRIET TUBMAN'S GUN!!!

THIS MESS SENT BLACK WOMEN BACK 1000 YEARS. YET FOLKS WAS MAD ABOUT BADU'S VIDEO. GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!

Major Lazer "Pon De Floor" from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

Eli Roth is a DOUCHBAG!

2010-04-03T11:54:00.005-05:00

Ms. Eli thought it would be chivalrous to post a blog/open letter to the mother of the guy who leaked naked pictures of his skanky new girlfriend.(On Myspace of all places..I guess he figured no one would read it) He basically puts the guy's family personal information out there so that his fans can harass them. He calls the woman a bad evil mother who raised a demon basically. I would agree that the guy is fair game he threw the first novela slap but come on son the MAMA??

How in the fuck is this helping Ms. Peaches. He comes off just as immature as the boy that linked the pictures. What the fuck does his mama have to do with this?? To me that is some bitchass shit! All you are showing us is that Ms. Peaches has terrible taste in men. She apparently has a hard on for men with the mental maturity of a 12 year old. If I was the leaker guy I would be waiting outside Ms. Eli's house with a taser and a super soaker full of piss for daring to come after my mom for some shit I did.

Ms. Eli claimed the guy caused hurt to Ms. Peaches career. Bitch please! Rule #1 NEVER EVER let some dude take naked pictures of you!!! If you do roll with the consequences. She wasn't worried about her future when she got high with that boy and got buck ass naked! Come on now.

A real grown woman would have owned up to that shit and said yes I did it. It was stupid but you live and learn. Neutralize that shit. Be a woman about it. The fact of the matter is people had forgot about that ho and her ho pictures because she isn't anybody. And here he comes like a douchbag from hell bringing more attention to the matter. She is a girl from a rich family that has not done anything substantial but do some ho shit like said pictures. She don't need your so called chivalry.

Ms. Eli need to get it together he to old to play on the playground like this!

PS.
I am sorry the grammar is probably a mess but I am in a hurry I just had to get this out.

Window Seat

2010-03-28T02:34:00.005-05:00

I still don't know what to make of this video... With so many female artists getting naked for the sake of being naked not sure if this was the time for this particular video. I don't think that is why she made it at all but still its getting lumped in with that Gaga mess and they are not even the same. She is a bit more of a sophisticated artist than that... I guess the comments I have seen about the video ruins it for me.

Seems like people are stuck on the size of her ass and everything else falls to the wayside. Although there is nothing sexual about the video at all men seem to be fixated on her ass. Men are so stupid.

Hmmm

My Friday Night

2010-03-27T16:10:00.001-05:00

HILARIOUS!

2010-03-27T15:59:00.003-05:00

Anybody that lives in Texas knows about Whataburger and out of the fast food burger chains Whataburger is the best. But this right here is a bit much. All this drama over a cheeseburger. The killing part is he got beat up and still didn't get his burger.

Photo Of The Day

2010-03-26T14:13:00.003-05:00

Trying new colors

I Miss Twitter

2010-03-24T12:57:00.001-05:00

Facebook is fucking boring as hell!!!! No kind of life in my feed.

The Stans of Gaga

2010-03-19T01:27:00.006-05:00

Are muthafucking crazy!

While I recognize and understand the appeal of her she does not feed me nor give me life. She is just whatever to me, I think I liked her better when she knew her position. The Gaga fans they are some beasts! I think they love to exclaim how good and artsy she is because she provokes strong opinion. (Like me writing this stupid ass blog) I thought the Beyonce Stans were terrible. On the internet folks was getting wet in the pannies for the Beyonce/Gaga video collabo. And I yawned. So Telephone came out and a couple people in my youtube subscription made videos about this video so I was like let me see what the hype is about. This is suppose to be the next Thriller so her (coven of misfits says) Anyways... It was straight booty.

While I understand cult films hey I am miss blacxpoltation. But in order for it to come off artistically and be relevant in a video the song has to relate in some way to the visuals you are trying to bring to the table. I get wacky. I am wacky but that shit was booty. How can you have murder and mayhem in a video but your song is a pop song talking about somebody blowing up your phone while you in the club? What girl?? I can't. Some would say that is the genius of it and I would still say STFU. Go watch Ms. Bjork honey she gets it. They misused the honey bun and pussy wagon! How dare they! I have become numb to women dancing in pannies and heels so I was whatever about that. You just telling me that is all you got for right now. Do you honey. You seen one bitch shake it you have seen them all.

I can't believe the director Jonas Ackerlund did this wack ass shit. Normally he is very on it with disturbing presentations of women in a non-traditional aggressive ways. (See Smack My Bitch Up) In regards to Telephone he failed. Stans don't see this though everything is 'hating' or you are being 'old-fashioned' chile please. I really don't give a damn. If it don't fit you must acquit. The video could of been hot with the proper song. It wasn't artsy what she did it was cheap. Payless shoes cheap. It wasn't epic and the only people that liked it were the people who really dig her. She did not pick up any new people with that mess. That is why it will never be a Thriller. None of these women who are popular now will ever touch what Michael had so whomever said Telephone was the new Thriller need to get their ass kicked. It was late honey and I am sticking to that.

Not Getting It Together

2010-03-17T23:24:00.002-05:00

Procrastination is going to ruin me.

Love my new glass

2010-03-15T21:11:00.002-05:00

Me and Simba Again

2010-03-12T22:46:00.003-06:00

Photo of The Day

2010-03-12T21:54:00.002-06:00

My husband took this of me in the cat. I like it because most of my face is hidden. I have fat face now.

If I Become a Mother

2010-03-09T20:54:00.004-06:00

Please don't let me be one of those mom's that flood Facebook/Twitter and the next internet social site with pictures of my children. They do too much for me! Nobody cares about your seed like that but you and family.If you have another adult examining your children like THAT you need to give them the pedophile side eye!

I know this sounds bitchy but I just have to say it no shade.....well maybe a little..

School Has Me Stressed!

2010-03-04T00:22:00.003-06:00

I am not retaining and comprehending which is crucial to my field of study.

Sad. I want to eat fat shit.

This video on my youtube channel

2010-02-27T00:07:00.003-06:00

Has the most views. I thought my story video was funnier.

Picture of the day

2010-02-27T00:04:00.002-06:00

I made him mad.

Is This Meant To Be Funny

2010-02-26T17:05:00.001-06:00

Because I laughed. Its like Bad but gayer.

GOT DAMN IT.

2010-02-24T12:13:00.002-06:00

I got a fucking 74 on a test! The class average for this exam was 72! Why did I take this fucking man again??? I know why! Because I am fucking retarded and should have learned my lesson!

Real Talk

2010-02-23T02:12:00.003-06:00

I have like no sex drive at all. And its not my husband because the thought of sleeping with another man makes my vagina gag. Isn't this shit suppose to happen when you 60? Ugh.

I wish I was a freak

Lenten

2010-02-17T18:13:00.002-06:00

I am on a fast today..I have a headache.
I gave up Twitter..
now back to studying.

No words... in 2010

2010-02-13T13:46:00.001-06:00

I LIVE FOR THIS!!!!!

2009-12-28T16:12:00.001-06:00

I love it when women talk like trash in cheap polyester dresses and synthetic wigs!

This says it all

2009-12-22T23:28:00.001-06:00

Lola has a new home

2009-12-21T23:24:00.005-06:00

I feel a little sad about it. We found someone willing to adopt her. I hope that she does alright. I have never given a pet away that I have kept for a while. We had Lola for over 2 1/2 years. I was at my wits end with the damage both cats were doing to my house. She didn't like the $300 litter box I bought so I had 2 litter boxes for a year and it was a mess! It will be nice to be able to have people over with out having to check and make sure her ass didn't piss on the floor next to the litter box. She was the nasty.

But she was sweet too. She would come when you called. She would touch me on my leg while I was doing homework and check on me. She was sweet in her own way. I will miss how she would carry her toy monkey around like it was a baby and sleep next to it.

I miss her..she was my baby girl and I couldn't handle her..

Ahem

2009-12-17T20:42:00.002-06:00

Make-up inspiration

2009-12-17T00:14:00.003-06:00

Smokey eye bright red lips..

Going to do a video on this look..

Hello Excuse Me

2009-12-10T00:56:00.003-06:00

But is this mic on?? Testing..1..2...3.. ::ahem::

Depression Tests

2009-12-08T01:52:00.004-06:00

I took a couple and they all say I have moderate depression. I always feel guilty about feelings of depression like God will give me something to be depressed about and I need to suck it up. I do feel blah about everything. I get excited about something and it quickly dissipates. I have no desire to do anything. I just want to isolate all the time. I literally fight urges to just go somewhere and not come home. Earlier I wanted to get in my car and go binge on burgers. Ain't that nutty? But laziness kept my ass right in this house. It has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else just me and my quirks.

Im a crazy cow.

Sigh

2009-12-07T23:32:00.000-06:00

He is not happy. He is not happy. He is not happy

Also..my ass can't sleep

2009-12-07T04:58:00.001-06:00

It is damn near 5 in the morning and I am wide awake. So yeah FML. Finals this week and next. Wish me luck because I am going to need it. Now sure if this semester will be a 4.0 one unless I can pull all A's on these exams.

I am stuck

2009-12-07T04:54:00.001-06:00

I still have not lost anymore god darn weight! I have been stuck for 2 weeks now! Son of a bitch.

Pissed

2009-11-22T13:48:00.004-06:00

Weigh ins this week suck. I did not lose any weight but I gained a pound. This is the point where I get stuck and want to say fuck it and eat a 5 Guys burger. I need to get over this hump! Perhaps I am not eating enough calories. I am most definitely am not eating more. So this week I am going to work at increasing my vegetables. Dieting fucking sucks I tell you.

I believe in setting mini goals

2009-11-17T22:24:00.003-06:00

When I weighed in this morning I am at the weight I usually get when I am feeling myself and start to fuck up. I lost 3 more lbs. So my goal is to get down from this number. I hope to do it by next weigh in. I am focus ya'll I need to get my shit together! It is so tempting to eat bullshit I tell you. And the Mister is still continuing to eat the good shit all up in my face. Skinny people can suck it.

I need to stop being negative. I have only been on a diet for for a week and have lost 9 pounds that is pretty good. And I am thankful. Now my next mini goal will be 5 more pounds. Let's get it! I want to hit that before Thanksgiving!

Thus Far

2009-11-15T16:05:00.002-06:00

I would have to agree wholeheartedly that dieting sucks MONKEY gotdam balls! Food is a pleasure for me much like looking at naked bodies are for men. And I am not getting off! I started my diet last Sunday and I am happy to report I have lost 6 pounds! Hooray! I am sure it is just water but let a bitch live for a moment! I have also not done shit this weekend! I read a little bit of a book for class but other than that I have been on the internet looking for ways to update my style. Which is a waste a time because I don't do shit but go to school and come home. No one sees me really. I need to be focused on school work...I think I am just becoming over it. And I have 2 papers I need to right that are quite intensive. Lord help me!

I went to see Precious and my remarks on that deserve a whole blog not just a blurb. On the whole I think I am in good spirits considering that my ass be day dreaming about cakes and cookies. Ain't that just so fat shit??? I don't give a damn its true. If I lose 30lbs. there will be no living with me, do you hear me?!?! I am going to work it do you hear me. I am already improving upon my make skills..so yeah.. be prepared.

Sorry this blog is all over the place but fuck that life and the way my mind works.

I am going to tell the story

2009-11-08T16:28:00.006-06:00

Of the last time I socked the shit out of a person. I am not a violent person although by the way I talk at times you would think that I have to just stomp ass all day every day. I will defend myself but I am never physically aggressive first. Well I take that back. One time I was and that ghetto girl beat my ass but hey you can't fuck with a girl with a jheri curl.

So back to this story:

The scene..the Navy...

Every enlisted sailor has to do 90 days working in the kitchen. We called it cranking and yes it sucks. You smell like wet potatoes everyday. I don't know why they make everyone crank. Maybe they do it to remind you that you have no control over your life. Anyways, I worked in the deep sink which is where you wash the big ass pots the cooks use. I didn't mind being back there because I didn't want anyone to see me walking around in that funk ass mustard yellow shirt. Or funking up the atmosphere smelling like spoiled vegetables. So I chose to be in the back and besides people don't tend to bother the pot washers it was too hot back and unpleasant and I just wanted to do my time in piece.

So there was this white girl that was back there with me. She worked in Port Services and I thought the bitch was weird. She never talked and she just seemed off to me. But I just ignored her and washed the pots. So one day we were in the deep sink alone, the other folks were probably skating off something and that day we were busy. Now anyone that has every washed pots or dishes know that you sometimes get little pieces of food stuck to the pot or plate while washing and water splashes around. We were washing pots that was damn near as long as my torso so its expected they did not fit perfectly into the deep sink. So this one day crazy bitch decided to speak she was like, "Don't splash me with water".

At first I was like, "what the hell bitch". I was not deliberately splashing water on this bitch so I was was like this bitch is tripping. I told her, "I am not intentionally spraying you with water". As far as I was concern the matter was closed. So anyway I got this big pot and their was a cucumber stuck to it and I picked it off the pot and threw it on the back splash. Crazy bitch lost her mind at that point and reached into the hot, dirty dishwater and splashed that shit in my face it was on some Dynasty level. I mean who in the hell splashes water in someone's face! I SNAPPED. I couldn't believe this bitch had the audacity to throw water in my face. Why I went IKE TURNER on that ass and socked the shit out of her. Her hat flew off her head. And then I yelled at her to pick it up and then continued to cuss her out. I was yelling so loud at this bitch the whole kitchen got quiet. I cursed her out like a pimp looking for his money!

I was about to sock that bitch again and you know what stopped me. The fear in her eyes. Other than that I would have continued to wipe the floor with her ass. All the men in the kitchen had a look on their faces that in hindsight now is comical but at the time I was like mind ya business! They looked like the South Park cartoons just big blinking eyes. She had blood coming out of her ear. I just knew then that bitch was gonna tell on me! I could have gotten in SERIOUS trouble had she told on me but she never did. The ho never came back into that deep sink again. I remember the other guy that worked back there with me was like "what did you do to that girl?" I was like nothing. I learned then that if you gonna attack someone, you have to be fully prepared to back it up. You end up looking like a fool! Like my friend Mike said, "the person who initiates the slap usually gags last" Amen brother Mike Amen.

I am telling you

2009-11-08T15:40:00.003-06:00

I am so fat right now. Matter of fact my pants is not buttoned right now. (FAT SHIT) It seems like fat is trying to take over everything. Its affecting my sex life. (I have NO sex drive) I don't even want to get on a scale I probably would faint. I was doing good in the summer with my runs but since school has started I have fell off. I never ever thought I would get this big. So today I have started dieting. It is so hard because I love to eat. Whatever is full of fat and sugar I love it! I am on some fat shit I know!

None of my jeans are shirts fit right. My body has morphed from Beyonce to Tocarra! I can't stand it. Oh and Tocarra with no titties at that. I have big arms now! I never had big arms before. But anyway I am going to stop bitching about it and do it. Its tiring when people complain about shit and don't do nothing about it. Wishing this weight off is not gonna make it so.

Not having sugar is going to kill me ya'll just don't know I have been on some fat shit! Have Starbucks and cake Mon-Thur at school rather than eating some damn food. I am a mess!

Diana Ross: Getting Her Afrikkan Dance On

2009-09-29T01:47:00.004-05:00

Miss Ross was working it with her skinny self! She is fabulous! A beautiful brown skin sista!

Had a dream

2009-09-26T12:31:00.005-05:00

That was disturbing about this certain person. It was not sexual in any way but I think it represented what always irked me about him. I had no emotional control or influence over him and therefore he did as he liked and all I could do was get mad and stew.

I had a dream that he kept throwing a glass and hitting my car and I was yelling at him. As I kept walking closer to him I noticed he had this happy look on his face. I could tell by his eyes he was pissed but his demeanor was nonchalant like he wasn't throwing shit at my car. I began to get afraid as I was confused by his actions like why is he attacking my shit with a smile on his face. I could see the class he was throwing was one of mine and it had a kool aid stain at the bottom so then I remembered that I had previously thrown that glass at him and he was now throwing it back at me when I least expected it and then I really got pissed and started cursing him out.I knew I could'nt physically fight him because he was stronger than me and more fit. I woke myself up from that shit.

Isn't that a crazy dream?? I felt dream raped or something.

My My My

2009-09-21T23:04:00.004-05:00

School is going OK I suppose. I have a lot of papers I have to write and I am apprehensive about it. I am not confident in my writings. I know I don't write terribly but academic/scholarly writing is another level. I want to do well. I have been getting all A's since returning to school and a C in something is just not acceptable. Proof-reading is my downfall. I miss things. I give some things to my husband to look over and he doesn't catch everything. I think I had a bad experience in an English class a few years ago and I am shook for life. LOL Ole mean as bastard.

I found out that one of my ex's is getting married and knocked a woman up. They haven't even been dating that long!! It is just weird to see boyfriends from my youth from where I am now in life. I still see them as weak ass fuck ups and they probably still see me as 'the crazy bitch'.

I never thought I would find a husband who is as sweet and caring as he is. I love my husband to death. Nothing makes me feel better than crawling into bed with him. He tries so hard and I am so STIFF BITCH. He is my best friend and trust it isn't lovely all the time but there is no one else I would rather be with. Even though when I married him I got fat. It is harder than a mug to get these 15lbs off-- let me stop 20lbs off. I lose 10 and then bam! Its on me again. Lord why do I love food so much and exercise so little.

I have a friend going through a break up and I am sorry I feel no sympathy for her. I don't have the patience to hand hold a grown ass woman anymore. You break up you move on. Maybe I am more hard core because I have always been in survivor mode. One monkey don't stop no show! You have to keep at it. I would be crushed if my marriage ended but I would not waste energy in trying to sabotage his life. When you break up with someone you should exit stage right with as much dignity as possible. Being a common bitch about something you have no control over is a waste! He don't want you let him go. I really don't even want to fool with her anymore. We are on different levels.

I guess that is enough babbling for now. I wonder does anybody even read this shit!

Lordy Lordy

2009-09-07T15:47:00.002-05:00

The Master is not pleased with me! We have been on funky ground since Saturday night. I am being bitched face on the sly. You know when you are having issues and every things is just simmering on the surface. Oh well. Like Popeye "I am what I am"

Also Courtney Love is fucking INSANE. I must be a sadist because she clogs up my feed on Twitter with rambling incomprehensible bullshit yet I won't unfollow her. I am intrigued by the crazy. She rambles about how people have stolen money and clothes from her. That people are using her husband's social security number all kinds of drama and none of it makes sense. Someone actually made a twitter account to translate her shit.

Maybe I will get tired of it soon but for now it is amusing me for a little bit.

Also my other mindless escape is Sorority Life some women take it very serious. Here is another interesting article someone posted about Facebook...fairly true..

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204660604574370450465849142.html

If I am honest with myself I should notice that this blog is some random bullshit in itself.

OMG I HEART THIS!!!!!

2009-08-28T21:03:00.002-05:00

Shouting to drum and bass= genius!>

Random Shit

2009-08-28T20:26:00.003-05:00

TMZ is always so tacky when celebrities die yet I still continue to read that shit I guess that makes me tacky too?

The more education I have the more resentful I become of men.

I didn't raise alot of money for my friend but its the thought that counts right? She has $275 she didn't have.

I think I piss my husband off with my lack of affection and romantic overtures.

Watching Tropic Thunder for the umptenth time..I am no longer laughing.

I miss Michael Jackson.

I miss nasty Prince.

Inglorious Basterds was alright I couldn't get past the plot being totally full of shit though.

I never feel content.

Just a quick note

2009-08-25T19:59:00.003-05:00

Am I even capable of that. I am very nervous about this semester. I have NUMEROUS papers I have to write. And I am scared shitless. I am ok with 1 paper a class spaced out but with my schedule this semester I will have to do serious research and book reviews. I am sort of excited for the challenge and it is an opportunity to improve my writing but damn I don't want to do poorly.

I am intrigued by my philosophy of race class it looks like it will be very enlightening. It is funny in my military history class I am the ONLY black female. In my African American history class there are NO white people just 1 latina that class is heavy with the negroes. The class is also taught by a latino. As black people we really aren't taught our history but I can recite white folks history all up and down.. Don't even get me started how women are virtually ignored in history everything is about THE MAN. No wonder no one likes your funky ass.

(I did not proofread I am about to eat)

Cheers

I Kinda Miss This In Music

2009-08-22T00:15:00.005-05:00

Even though I think baby girl goes on a bit too long, I do miss how singers would talk over a groove before breaking it down. Songs were allowed to build a little bit. Now its straight fucking no time for four play. lol Women were chopping men up long before "can you pay my bills".

So I introduce to you Miss Marlena Shaw

Drama

2009-08-21T23:51:00.004-05:00

So much has been going on! I think I twitter to much because now I don't bother to blog anymore! Well one of the things I am working on is helping out my friend. She is in DIRE FINANCIAL straits at this moment. I didn't realize how bad it was. I normally don't read too much into when someone says that money is tight. Because shit that is how most my life has been- alright, tight, no extra money, broke, and why am I not homeless? I am part of the working poor it is what it is. But earlier this week she confessed that her husband has not worked since February he has been able to find a job that pays him anything. She doesn't make much. They live in the country so job opportunities are not plentiful and everything has just basically spiraled out of control in the last 2 months. To hear my friend cry and confess she may lose her home just made me sick to my stomach.

To a cancer our home is our castle, it is our sanctuary of peace. To lose our piece of peace is just devastating. I am a full time student I don't have much money. What makes us make it is my husband working if he got sick or lost his job we would be in her position. I can't give her a large amount of money to help her out but what I can do is fund raise for her and that is what I am doing. She doesn't know by the way I am doing this for her. If she knew it she would stop me. I am sorry a closed mouth don't get fed. Your sorry ass husband can't get it together I will help you. Some people fall apart when adversity comes their way, I like to think that is when I am at my toughest. I think what really got me was her feeling of hopelessness and feeling alone that no one can help her. That breaks my heart, that is what slips you into a darkness you can't get out of. My idea to raise money has been baking cakes and charging $25 a cake and I am also taking donations of any amount. I will take a dime its a dime she doesn't have. Since Tuesday I have received $65 so far. I am expecting more donations next week. Pay day is coming!! I make a delicious chocolate cake and I am working on perfecting this honey bun cake..I have some ideas. I would almost make any kind of cake if it is within my skill set.

Besides who doesn't like cake?? If you don't you dark sided. I loved to baked but didn't for a while because I was single and a single woman don't need a whole cake in their house. I like to bake for people and give it away. I hope the money I raise will at least help a little bit. My husband and I gave her $125 which isn't much but shit its something. I have never fund raised before so I am doing this all off cuff. It does touch me though that people are helping me with this project. I know good and well that no one has to do shit for you in this life. We can be coldblooded beings consumed with our own personal dramas and we don't notice that the person next to us is drowning. Then once you gone its all these revelations. Fuck that help people when they are around and can appreciate your helping hand.

This right here is my kiki

2009-08-14T00:42:00.003-05:00

When folks work my nerves, this is my go to song. And if you follow me on Twitter I have posted it a few times when I need a "praise break"
I immediately giggle. It is so over the top. You can't help but want to get a church fan and step it out IN THE NAME OF JESUS! IT'S OVAAAAAAAAAAAA. Is so very blackbaptistchurch-ish. So when folks are giving you fever, sweating you, or when a bill collector calls your house just start blasting this and all will be forgiving for about 5 minutes at least.

When I Watch Coverage on Health Care Reform

2009-08-12T01:18:00.007-05:00

And they show footage of angry mobs of WHITE MEN and WOMEN screaming at the top of their lungs that Obama is trying to kill their grandmother. I can't help but see white people who DO NOT want this black man to succeed. Fuck what is best for our country this nigger has got to fail. To me when they say, "Obama is a socialist" what they are really saying is "Obama is a NIGGER". Its a code phrase and it aggravates me to no end. These people are the same crack pots that were following McCain screaming socialism but #1 they couldn't spell it nor explain it. I really hope these crazy people don't win. When Hillary tried to push through reform it was white business men and powerful lobbyist that put a stop to that. They never accused her of trying to kill white down syndrome babies. She was just a woman that didn't know her place, same thing but the overtone about Obama much scarier. You never felt that hateful rhetoric was going to rile someone up so that a crazy would try and assassinate her. They just put her in her place and she went to baking cookies and visiting countries.

Most of their complaints are dense. "We don't want the government deciding what kind of health care we need!!!" You dumb ignorant bitch. Private insurance companies already do that. Where the fuck have you been? Have you ever been sick? They decide what they want to pay for. They decide who gets coverage.They have caps. When I left my job I was given a letter that I was told I must keep that says I had no pre-exisiting conditions, so that when I go to a new job I will be able to give covered. If I lose that shit, I am going to be in trouble. Obama's administration is not trying to socialize medicine what they are trying to do is make it better but the crazy ass, no reading, militant ass, crazy white boys and their breeders are trying to sabotage it by spreading lies. They are just coming off as rabid dogs. A true definition of a 'hater'.

Regulation is the only way to get these changes like it or not. Free market principles can not work for everything. It is not a fix it all. Capitalism is not a catch all. I would like to see regulation that prevents private insurance from dropping coverage for sick people or people with pre-existing health issues. I would like to see affordable insurance offered to people who work part-time and their job does not offer, insurance for those who lose or quit their job. When you lose your job and all you have is 2 weeks pay coming at you. COBRA is too damn high! IF we could get 2 of those things it would be a vast improvement. Also, the Obama plan wants to give insurance companies 5 years to comply. That shit need to be cut down to 3.

Anyway, I just felt I had to speak on that. I am always willing to listen to rational people discuss issues but once you get emotional about it and don't stick to the facts or offer a solution to fix it. I can't give you any ear time. Sorry.

Today I feel

2009-08-10T12:39:00.003-05:00

Unsettled. I just want to lay in bed watch tv and not speak to anyone. All summer I have not done a damn thing but waste time on frivolous things. I have ideas but I never follow through a dreamer with no fire underneath them.

Wide Awake

2009-08-03T01:38:00.002-05:00

And watching pirated episodes of Mad Men on the playstation. This shit is raggedy. I wish I was horny all the time then I could be busy jumping on my husband's magic stick rather than fucking around online. My cypher is broken. I don't feel right. And I have no idea about how to make it better. Me and my husband well mainly me and my friend have been discussing owning our own lounge. I really think we could do it. My husband is not a take charge type of man so I know that I will be have to do the delegating of tasks for shit to get done. We have a lot of ideas but ideas don't get shit done, action does.

The SBA website has a lot of good information to shift through. The shit is so dry though. I want to try and get a part time gig at a lounge so I can know the business better. I believe the 28-40 yo old night life market is virtually ignored for adults. Grown people like to go out too we just don't because we don't want to kick it with a bunch of 18 year olds listening to shitty music. Alot of spots here are all over the place with promotions..black night, latin night, gay night etc etc to me its all exclusive like if you are not black but like hip/hip urban music its not the place for you. It isn't nothing but passive aggressive segregation. But we will see how it works out. I do tend to bounce from one career idea to another. Maybe this would stick if the people around me keep encouraging me and supporting me.

I am not feeling

2009-07-30T15:54:00.002-05:00

Grown men acting like 12 year old boys! I find myself rolling my eyes a lot to day. Perhaps I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this afternoon. Maybe that is my damn problem I have nothing to do. I can clean out and straighten up but who wants to do that every damn day. I feel a bit unstable. But not the Britney Spears 5150 hold unstable more like being mean to people for no real reason unstable.